…with a glass of red wine by my side. Mostly for celebration, but a little wee bit for courage as well! I’ve been a blog lurker reader for a long time, but it’s time for me to jump into the fray. I’ve been wanting to for a while. As soon as I could come up with the right name. The perfect name. Since we all know, having the perfect name means I’ll have the perfect blog, no? It’ll all be great as soon as I have just the right name! I’m sure we all know a stall tactic when we see one. This is a scary thing, putting oneself out there for the world (or all 3 of you, anyway!) to see! Especially when I know I struggle with how I am perceived by others. How I could be judged. What if I say something wrong? Reveal something that that is just too weird? Be seen as something less than? Striving to be the perfect… whatever it is I was striving to be perfect at… is exhausting!
Recently, the wish to start writing has gotten stronger. It started to drown out the inner critic who has usually won this argument. I started brainstorming in earnest, trying to think up something good that wasn’t GreatTitle #12345. I thought I had a good one, only to find it was already gone and knew when the disappointment kicked in that I was on the right path. I finally just grabbed a dictionary, and started spouting random word combinations at my (very patient) friend. Still, nothing was right. I was caught up again in my wish for it to be perfect.
This week, I have been reading a lot about people who have started to reject this idea of perfectionism that we’re all striving for. Looking more at living life and enjoying it. I credit this post, as well as this one, for helping me start to see my harsh demands on myself (for more than just a blog name) in a new light. They have helped me to remember that life is at its most interesting and its most fun when things aren’t necessarily “perfect.”
And suddenly, I had a name.
I have no idea what’s going to go on with this blog. No direction for it. I just know it’s going to be for me and about me and that even if I’m the only one reading it, I’ll be happy with it.