Someday, I will update more than once a month. However, right now there is a reason for my sporadic updates. This is what my home looks like right now:
Well, this photo was taken a couple of weeks ago, but many of those boxes are still hanging out, taunting me with their unpacked state. Some of it is a space issue, some of it is that other life things (good things) took over in a big way for a little while and I haven’t been here to do it and some of it is that sometimes I look at that pile of stuff that just seems to be everywhere, much of it needing washing before I can put it away, and I just don’t know where to begin.
That being said, I know I have done a tonne of work, as evidenced by the number of boxes that finally went down to storage yesterday. I have also not been without some help along the way, which has been great. I am no stranger to moves and yet this one has been one of the hardest I have ever done. It’s been an exercise in… I’m not really even sure what yet, but I know my patience and my temper have certainly been tested. I wonder what I have gotten myself into sometimes.
At the risk of this sounding like a great big complain-y rant, just know that I know that while I thought I was getting into this with my eyes open, I realize I may have been squinting. So much of what I am feeling, I think I may have brought upon myself. I think once I have just been able to live here for a while, my outlook will be better. Right now though, it’s pushing all my buttons. The money button (more initial outlay than I thought and things to help create space where there wasn’t any), the thinking-things-were-one-way-but-they’re-kind-of-another button (it really looked clean, but it wasn’t. It could have been much worse, but still. Erg.) and the “I’m usually totally done by now, why am I still living in chaos?” button. Things like that. Small disappointments. for certain, but they combined for a bit of a bigger punch.
So yeah. Complain, complain. Know that I am actively reminding myself of how good I have it as much as possible, I am practicing gratitude, but I am also allowing myself to feel a bit disappointed and think about what I can learn from this experience to make the next one better.
I’m also working on reminding myself that there is a lot that I think will be great once I am up and running. It’s by the lake, which, since I am doing all of this unpacking now in the full heat of summer, should be very pleasant to walk along in the next few weeks (and I don’t have so much guilt about not getting to it right now!). I’m close to downtown in an area I enjoy being in. Everyone who I run into in this building says it’s a good place to be. I’m in a very central place family and friends-wise, which I am very happy about and it’s knocked about 40 minutes and 2 tolls a day off my commute to and from work. These are all very good things. I just have to more actively remind myself of them while I am still so less than organized. It’s getting better. Definitely a worthwhile project.
What is your big project this summer?