During a recent conversation, I was asked what freedom felt like to me. I answered in a common-sense kind of way, but afterwards, I found myself thinking of what freedom really feels like to me; what I feel in my body when I think of that word and what I see in my mind’s eye. I wanted to record all of that here for myself.
Common-sense-wise, freedom feels to me like not having to worry about money, being able to do what I want when I want (in a positive way, of course), being able to say what I want to say (while also being positive about it), be where I want to be, without having to answer to anyone (i.e. ask permission) and just being able to be myself and be accepted and loved for who I am.
When I got to thinking about it on the way home, I realized when she first asked me, I immediately pictured and felt the sensation of what freedom is to me, rather than go straight to that which would “allow” me to feel that way, which is how I think I answered her above.
My picture of freedom is my arms flung open and I am sprinting, sort of like a dancer, but covering fields at a time, like I have done in dreams that I still remember, despite having dreamt it so long ago. The wind is in my hair and it is long, loose and wild (and curly, for some reason), the sun is on my face, and I am in the country, with lush, rolling fields of green and other colours around me, dotted with trees, and there is blue sky above. I am wearing clothes that flow in the wind behind me and they don’t hamper me at all. I am smiling. My heart is open and leading the way.
The feeling of freedom to me is in that sprinting. It feels like flying. It feels like dancing. It feels light and graceful and thrilling and I barely touch the ground. It feels expansive and unencumbered by anything. It feels like joy. It feels limitless.
I sometimes get to experience that feeling when I get into my car for a road-trip with some great road trip tunes and a coffee or tea, with clear roads. I love it when I do.
I say all of this because freedom has been a topic for me of late and I think my biggest limiting factor to not feeling this way comes from within, not from outside people or circumstances. Worrying too much about the little things, what would “everyone else” think, etc. (as it stands, I am often surprised with just how accepting people are of what I term my “weirdo” interests — I think we can all see where the real struggle lies here).
Instead, I want to consciously invite that beautiful, expansive feeling into my being much more often and pursue those things that would encourage it to stay. I’m not sure what that is yet, but I know I am well supported as I continue my journey to find out.